I had a Pool Table a while Back.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, and it was a lot of fun at first, but after a while, it just wound up taking up space, and my house isn’t really that big … so I sold it.

When the buyers came to pick it up, they seemed like normal guys, laughing, joking … checking out the table … and in conversation, I overheard them talking about a call the one was out on the night before.

And I was curious, so I asked him … “Are you a police officer?” And he was.

He was in regular street clothes at the time, so off-duty when he was at my house, and we spoke briefly about how I had tested for Mesa Police Department a while back but just didn’t get selected.

He mentioned how Phoenix needs officers pretty bad, so he was encouraging me to test for them, but I was like …

“Nah … after going through the hiring process, I realize that … just because I was a good soldier, it doesn’t mean I’d be a good cop because of how I just … wouldn’t want to be caught in the middle of domestic issues all the time.

I mean … I’m into public safety and helping people in dangerous situations, but getting caught in the middle other peoples’ personal problems all the time is not something I’d do well with.”

And he was like, “Yeah … it’s pretty bad sometimes …”

He mentioned the worst was like, when a mom calls and he’ll go to the house, and she’s like, begging him to straighten out her 15-year old son, like … “Take him outside and shake him up a little, scare him …”

And he’s telling me how, the last thing they want is people being scared of them (the police), and how … “There’s no way a 15-minute conversation is gonna undo 15-years’ worth of bad parenting.”


And it was kinda funny to me, because in training sessions … I’ve drawn out timelines that compare raising children to sales processes, and how there are certain, desirable behaviors … for certain age ranges …

And how … if you wait until a child is 15 to start enforcing a sense of order and discipline, then it’s probably too late.

Pretty much anytime you come across a troubled youth, you can almost certainly trace back on the child’s timeline, and find that there were certain, uncorrected behaviors from when he or she was younger.

And then … if you look at nightmare clients … you’ll find pretty much the same thing, if you look back on their timeline.

In either case, there most certainly have been … things that happened that shouldn’t have happened … or things that … didn’t happen that should have happened … early on in the development of a child or a client.

… And the communication frameworks I’ve designed are geared towards … setting the relationship on the right path by setting the power dynamics in favor of who should be in charge … right from the beginning: you!

And I’m not talking about being a bully or being pushy or desperate or high-pressure anything, either …

I’m talking about neuroscientifically-optimizing your initial interactions so that when the smoke clears, your clients view you as more of a trusted advisor instead of a typical sales person.

There is a night and day difference between how things go when you are in control of the sales process and when your clients are in control of the sales process.

And dynamics like these are set during initial interactions, and having the right communications framework in place, and executing on it … will make it so that you are consistently setting the relationship between you and your clients on the right track from the start.

All of these dynamics start with how you present yourself during the first :28 seconds … how you come across to whoever it is you’re communicating with.


Think about it: we’re all told to not judge books by their covers, but guess what?

We all do it … and we do it instinctively and subconsciously.

The subconscious parts of our minds are constantly scanning for threats, much like anti-virus software that’s constantly running in the background … and this is all done by the more-primitive parts of our brains that we share with reptiles (like turtles), and other mammals (like dogs).

Initial Interactions

So, when we encounter anything (or anyone) new, we are instinctively suspicious to start out, which means we’re in a heightened state of alertness to begin with … by default … like, we can’t even help it as it’s the way that our brains are hard-wired after living in fear for most of our human existence.

And since we are all primal, fear-based creatures, think of how quick we are to assume something is wrong versus assuming something is right.

When we jump to conclusions of any kind, think of how they’re typically negative versus positive.

This is why it’s so much easier to be in a negative mindset than to be in a positive one, and we all know how negativity breeds negativity … but what most people don’t seem to understand, is how being “too positive” can set off threat signals to our subconscious mind, too … (maybe I’m just being negative?).


Want to know more? Find my FB Page … I have a bunch of videos on there where I explain this stuff in even more detail.


Published by Thomas Hurley

I am a father, husband, drummer, boater, marketer, communicator, animal-lover.

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: